Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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