I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
