I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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