He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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