But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
