And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
