ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
