So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
