Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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