You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
