You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
