alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
