they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
