I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
