She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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