are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
