you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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