When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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