I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Floor bacon is actually really good
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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