SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
