Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
handjob tips. give me some.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
