you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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