YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
