I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
