I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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