but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
two words: eviction party
I intend to get homeless drunk
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
