he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We named our party play list daddy issues
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
