I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize