he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
