you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
