I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
