My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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