In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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