He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
