Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
this is an emotional support booty call
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
