And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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