Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
high people should be assigned attendants
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
