You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
