i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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