Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
