I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
