you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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