He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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