Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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