i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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