I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
