Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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