Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
