We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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