wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
