"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
