He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
