so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
