fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
