I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Randomize
